It’s easy to underestimate the longitudinal effects of a global pandemic and enforced quarantine. This may seem like an obvious statement, but when I am kneeling on the floor of my bedroom crying out for my dog because I have been looking at carpets online for so long I need the company of another mammal to ground me, it’s not so apparent. The amount of times I’ve said “I’m fine, I actually love working from home.”, and truly meant it without catching sight of the tsunami of emotions on the horizon, only to have it take me completely by surprise and wash me up on the shore of my own, alone, reality, is incalculable. Am I done with this metaphor? Read on to find out.
I procured 18 free samples of carpet.
It took me less than one minute to decide on the carpet I wanted because ultimately I don’t give a shit. Why then do I buy 24 paint testers and 18 carpet samples? Why does decorating make you an emotionally unstable, midnight-cereal eating, friend-boring, nervous wreck? All those paint testers and I just bought cream. Why have I spent most of this lovely and warm Saturday afternoon looking at pendant light fittings then not buying any? Because I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. I feel like a dog chasing its tail.
Anyway, I’m sure you’ve noticed but I am a pretty open book about all this house stuff, so I like to include final costs because I know how helpful it is for me to hear/read anecdotal experience and discover the real costs of works/equipment, so maybe you do too. It’s just money, and none of it is mine. I am in an astonishing amount of debt HA HA HA HA HA.
Stuff I’ve bought to save me money in the long run (lol)
- Hailo work platform for stairs £84.99 – It was either pay someone £265 to paint my stairwell for me, or go halfers on a platform with this chump and do it myself (the platform is essential if I don’t want to snap my neck). Who did I think I was getting a painting quote, Marie Antoinette? This was the best price I found online.
- Dulux Fine Cream Paint £61.98 – I got a colour match from the wonderful Decorating Centre Online which is a local business (their physical store is in Bishop Auckland I think?) but for all intents and purposes, they are an online business. I bought 5L Leyland Trade Vinyl Matt and 2.5L Leyland Hardwearing Matt. I have about 1.5L of Dulux Matt leftover from decorating the small room. That should be plenty for the stairs and hallway and if it isn’t, BAD LUCK TO ME (I’ll have to buy more, I just hate the waste).
- London Dove Grey Soft Noble Action Back Carpet £395.64 – This covers about 35sqm (bedroom and small room) including the bit inside my wardrobe (which doesn’t need underlay). I tried to get remnants for the wardrobe bit but decided for the sake of saving £20, it wasn’t really worth having two vastly different types/colours next to each other. I’ve put the time and effort in, the very least I deserve is some fucking CARPET CONTINUITY.
- Cloud 9 Cirrus 9mm Underlay £191.70 – I’ve heard BIG things about Cloud 9, can’t wait to just have no opinion on it whatsoever because it’s underlay innit. I got 30sqm.
- Sevilla Blackout River Rock Roller Blind £42.44 (inc. £7.95 delivery) – I was almost sick spending this much on one blind when the one in my bedroom from Ikea cost £5.50, but I have two spare curtains I’m repurposing which has saved me at least £25, and the window recess is an awkward 89cm by 162cm and every single fucking blind I found was 80cm or 90cm wide so I lost the plot and gave in. CUSTOM BABY. Let’s glide right over that delivery fee.
I didn’t go back to the metaphor, aren’t you glad?
diythefck 