Painting and Decorating: Living Room Edition

It took three days, several podcasts, and infinite crumpets, but the living room is now painted. I had been putting it off, waiting for the fireplace to be installed so there could be a big WOW moment, a reveal, a sense of satisfaction. I should know by now that literally never happens, everything is incremental, and my furniture is gross so that was actually never on the cards.

Firstly, a shout out to those lovely noodles at Decorating Centre Online who matched Deep Adam Green by Craig and Rose. I got 5L in Leyland Trade Hardwearing Matt (10x tougher than normal matt) and it cost £48. Despite a mild panic half way through painting, it was just enough with a tiny bit leftover. Really I should have got another 2.5L to avoid stress and potentially do a third coat but it’s too late now and I’m not shelling out. It’s FINE.

The real MVP of this weekend was again a matched colour by DCL, Champagne White by Dulux. It is the most perfect greige, so perfect I wish I’d done the hallway in it because it doesn’t beam warm yellow like my now banana lit stairwell, and isn’t as cold as white. I’m very pleased with it and have already knocked and scratched it twice. I also got this in the Leyland Trade Hardwearing Matt (which, although tough, cannot contend with the corner of a solid teak G Plan unit).

I did all the cutting in and edging by hand because tape is a SCAM. It’s not perfect but no one will give a shit.

Filling, sanding, and priming took most of a day, the rest of which was filled with the exruciatingly slow process of edging. Actual painting with the roller is about 10% of painting. In fact this is how it goes:

Painting is

• 40% prepping
• 25% edging
• 25% cleaning
• 20% crying
• 10% dawdling
• 10% painting

Day one and two flew by, day three was a real kick in the nuts. The cleaning, man. The edging in daylight was shocking, my little cabinet was broken and fixing it wasn’t an option, I couldn’t screw the plug sockets back in as searching for a screwhole* in the dark is seemingly impossible (how do(es) anyone/electricians do this regularly? Is there a trick I’m missing?), and I got my period when I woke up, so really I rolled out of bed and straight into to the Carnival of Emotions looming downstairs. I outdid myself for the number of DIYcries, mostly at the sockets, some of it at the light fitting that I broke, but also not really at either of these things.

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Despite initially HATING the pink fireplace, I’m into it. I’m feeling it. I mean, look at the furniture it has to contend with (almost set the red chair on fire but thought Envirocall was a better option). After a year of living here during renovations – really living here; all day, every day – it looks like a home. Instead of getting Pity Face from people for the whole house, now I just get Pity Face for the kitchen.

P.s. Goodbye for now, Trump: may the wounds you’ve inflicted heal, and the memes live on for eternity. Ya fucking screwhole*.