I started buying materials for this shit in February 2021, had everything sitting inside their little packages in my home office from April 2021, and was mercifully possessed by the Spirit of Bathrooms* momentarily on a warm day in August to finally see this through. Between then and now I've had not a single molecule … Continue reading Bathroom Makeover on a Budget
blog
Handrail – Fail
To say it took me a while to get round to this would be insulting to professional procrastinators. For 12 weeks the piece of timber was jutting out from behind my sofa just enough to obstruct the path in and out of the living room. Then for 12 full days, it was laid recklessly across … Continue reading Handrail – Fail
Stairs – Stairwell – Farewell
Well, well, well, fancy seeing me here. It must be spring after all. As I look out the condensation laden window into the freshly jetwashed yard, reflecting and reflected I wonder just how many hair cuts I can give myself before someone calls the authorities. A whole year of the covvid, a whole year of … Continue reading Stairs – Stairwell – Farewell
Wood – Woodwork – Workbench
I have no training, experience, or qualifications in joinery, but would it be a stretch to call myself a carpenter? Absolutely not. I made shelves from scaffolding boards so don't try and tell me I'm not gifted. I'd like to see you try and cut a rectangular piece of wood to size then sand it … Continue reading Wood – Woodwork – Workbench
Hung up: Flourish with Feeling
I'm mildly embarrassed that I was in the queue for Ikea at 9:45 Saturday morning, but my trip was absolutely necessary for the sake of my neighbours. The next available delivery slot for curtains was the end of January and nearest collection point was Edinburgh, so yeah, I went to the store. I went to … Continue reading Hung up: Flourish with Feeling
Log Burner Installation
I can't believe the day has finally come. I have been banging on about it for so long I was sure it was never going to happen. Let me take you on a journey... It all started at 11am today, this very day, this damp November morning. And then finished by about 12pm it was … Continue reading Log Burner Installation
Flashback: Year One
It's kind of funny really that the reason my fireplace hasn't been installed yet is not because of lockdown (apparently fireplaces are essential? Not complaining) or that they're just so busy leading up to Christmas that I've been bumped down the list, but because I was forgotten about. Then, when I was remembered about, the … Continue reading Flashback: Year One
“Carpentry” – Covid – Fireplace
Hello, darling reader. How are you? Things have become even more unsettling, haven't they? Three-tier this, Rule of That. I have taken a few moments from staring out the window to get some thoughts down, an impossible task for the past month. Would you like some updates in small bites? Of course you would. A … Continue reading “Carpentry” – Covid – Fireplace
DIY Oak Hairpin Office Desk
I made a thing! It was really easy and took almost no effort but I'm still proud of it! SHOWER ME IN COMPLIMENTS. This is the best pic I could find of the old coffee table (and incidentally my old living room - recognise everything?) It is solid oak, probably very expensive at one stage … Continue reading DIY Oak Hairpin Office Desk
Central Heating: Let Sleeping Pipes Lie
I feel compelled to write about this week's trauma not as catharsis but as a warning. Please, PLEASE, don't do what I did. You may remember my irrational obsession with the 'creaks' in my floorboards. Let's be clear, they don't even squeak, they just move a little in a few places. It's that same level … Continue reading Central Heating: Let Sleeping Pipes Lie
Carpet Fitting – Painting – Skirting
I know you are all dying to learn how I got on during my two weeks off. ITCHING. WRITHING IN SITU. Unsurprisingly, I powered through the first week but by the second I was fucked. Do not recommend. I didn't touch the fireplace, the floorboards in my bedroom still move and creak (I can't seem … Continue reading Carpet Fitting – Painting – Skirting
Log Burner Quotes
Genie is fine, I promise Summer is over (do not try and convince me otherwise) but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Why? Because CHRISTMAS FIREPLACE THAT'S WHY. I have two weeks off work, a DIY schedule to make you wince, and three slabs of porcelain absolutely dying to begin their new vocation as a … Continue reading Log Burner Quotes
Carpet Fitting: Office Edition
In case anyone misses being in the office: *walks in on the first day of the month*"Morning! Can you BELIEVE it's already August?" ad infinitum For real though, what the fuck. Now that I'm through the [first of what is predicted to be many] eye[s] of the Storm of Crippling Ennui and some normal service … Continue reading Carpet Fitting: Office Edition
The Final Grow Off: A True Underdog Story
When I set the end date of July 31st for the sunflower competition, it felt like years and years in the future. Since the middle of March our little group of friends-cum-gardening enthusiasts have shared even our smallest of horticultural victories, from the first sproutling to final harvests. This wholesome cultivation of life and friendship … Continue reading The Final Grow Off: A True Underdog Story
New Boiler and Central Heating
This will be short because I keep welling up. I got the quotes, I did the research, I listened to my instincts (say what you want about this but I guarantee your gut is a better judge of contractors than your bank balance) and this is where I landed. And if I can offer a … Continue reading New Boiler and Central Heating
Choosing New Carpets: Deep Impact
It's easy to underestimate the longitudinal effects of a global pandemic and enforced quarantine. This may seem like an obvious statement, but when I am kneeling on the floor of my bedroom crying out for my dog because I have been looking at carpets online for so long I need the company of another mammal … Continue reading Choosing New Carpets: Deep Impact
Restoring the Inglenook Fireplace: Third and Final Attempt
It's done! We did it! We were meant to do a couple of rows then go for a pint, as it was the nicest afternoon we've had since May, but we dug ourselves deeper and deeper both literally and metaphorically. This post is primarily a warning for anyone thinking of doing this themselves. I enlisted … Continue reading Restoring the Inglenook Fireplace: Third and Final Attempt
Tools: A Quick Peep
Happy Saturday, m8s! Genie is having a sleepover at her dad's, the pubs are back open, the sun is out, and I am hungover af (not from the pub) and will not be leaving the house. *draws blinds* *whines softly* I have cheered myself up with a bit of retail therapy at Magabala Books which … Continue reading Tools: A Quick Peep
Renovations: A Story of Stagnation
BLM Activity has slowed and steadied somewhat on my feed but there is movement everywhere. Earlier today I found this documentary available for free on the murder of Fred Hampton who I knew nothing about until recently. I haven't watched the movie, entitled The Murder of Fred Hampton (1971), yet but I'll be sitting down … Continue reading Renovations: A Story of Stagnation
Grow off Week 12 – Bake Off Week 7
This weekend I joined a bubble with another single lone-habitat-er. To celebrate we drank everything in the North East and stayed up past a time anyone at our ages should deem necessary. I feel replenished yet completely empty at the same time. Help. Black Lives Matter protests are in their fourth consecutive week in the … Continue reading Grow off Week 12 – Bake Off Week 7
Black Lives Matter
Below are a few Instagram accounts I now follow who provide resources and links for education and donating, but more importantly they are the voices we should be, should have always been, listening to. There are so, so many. As momentum recedes and the news cycle regenerates, the fight that so many of us have … Continue reading Black Lives Matter
Grow Off Week 9 – Bake off Week 5
I write to you this week full to the brim with Bake Off spoils. Resembling an overfilled profiterole, I sit soft eyed and centred. And soft centred. The gardens are flourishing and the sunbabies have all moved into their permanent homes, a worrying time for us. I imagine it is a similar feeling to watching … Continue reading Grow Off Week 9 – Bake off Week 5
Painting and Decorating: Bedroom Edition
It has been a while since I've felt capable of a proper post about something other than plants or baking. Like many of us I have focused a lot of my energy, intentionally or otherwise, on getting through the daily routine as happily and successfully as possible. Some days this may mean putting on a … Continue reading Painting and Decorating: Bedroom Edition
Grow Off Week 8 – Bake Off Week 3
As I type I can hear it blowing a bloody hoolie - secure those sunflowers, get the clothes off the line, remember not to leave the dog outside! We've had varying rates of growth this week, some sunbabes are a bit over it, others are just getting started. My tomatoes are a pure embarrassment, Steven … Continue reading Grow Off Week 8 – Bake Off Week 3
Grow Off Week 7 – Bake off Week 2
Lockdown - Week 8 Short and sweet this week my friends, let's weigh in! WEIGH IN Phil's skinny creep didn't feel like it this week and has been knocked down a peg, but still a very happy 37cm.A whopping 20cm growth in a week for Sophie's lovely girl, coming in at 43cm! She's quite literally … Continue reading Grow Off Week 7 – Bake off Week 2
Grow Off Week 6 – Bake Off Week 1
Annual Burger Week - Year 5 Lockdown - Week 25546 There is a lot to cover and I haved 8000 photos to sift through for this week, but WHAT A FUCKING WEEK. Let's start with a weigh in, shall we? WEIGH IN Sophie's lasses have had a full resurgence after some indoor TLC; 24cm.Phil's skinny … Continue reading Grow Off Week 6 – Bake Off Week 1
Grow Off Week 5
Despite the increasingly moody weather and the fact it has been 7 weeks since I've touched another human being*, our plant babies are taking off. Our body positive sunflowers are flaunting their various shapes and sizes with vigour and I think I can speak for everyone when I say how proud we are of their … Continue reading Grow Off Week 5
Grow Off – Weeks 3 and 4
Given the widely accepted fact that time has no meaning, I forgot to provide an update on the Grow Off last week. But given the widely accepted fact that time has no meaning, who cares? I have some news regarding the Tallest Sunflower Challenge, but first, let's slap 'em out on the table and measure … Continue reading Grow Off – Weeks 3 and 4
Grow Off – Week 1
WHAT A WEEK. It's heating up in the Grow Off! I'll let the pictures do most of the talking although they're from an array of Grow Offers and I can't guarantee anything is in order. My sunflower babies are slow off the mark, and two seeds went black (too cold? too wet? fungus? depression?) but … Continue reading Grow Off – Week 1
Greenhouse: The Sowening
Fellow quarantini, I hope you're well. I hope you're safe and healthy. I hope there has been some silver lining for you and I hope you've decided to use this time to rewatch Buffy. I just checked the date on the last post and apparently it was only a week ago I cleaned the greenhouse? … Continue reading Greenhouse: The Sowening
Greenhouse: The Cleanse
As I sit to write this, equipped with a makeshift home office, it will be my seventh day practising Social Distancing, a term no one had ever heard or perhaps even existed a week ago. I have no intentions of offering advice or opinions on Covid-19, but I will encourage you to get involved with … Continue reading Greenhouse: The Cleanse
Restoring the Inglenook Fireplace: Second Attempt
I often think I am going to be able to get something that takes three days done in 15 minutes, and no amount of experience informs my expectations. Perhaps I have an inflated sense of my own capabilities, or perhaps I'm stupid. In any case, I did more stuff to the fireplace, look! I very … Continue reading Restoring the Inglenook Fireplace: Second Attempt
DIYCry
It was inevitable, and even the manner in which it transpired was predictable. I was lugging around these massive fucking ladders (I mean, thanks Sam for letting me borrow them x) and they are quite cumbersome and the stairwell is an awkward space and the release clips to adjust the angles and shape of the … Continue reading DIYCry
Contractors: The Love Story Continues
Ghosted at my own façade Is this some kind of fucking joke? Stood up again? I chose this particular company because they were a Contractor; revered, recommended, professional, punctual (so all the reviews went). I really thought Geoff was the one. I thought we hit it off. I made a joke about the rewire and … Continue reading Contractors: The Love Story Continues
Painting and Decorating: Living Room Edition
It took three days, several podcasts, and infinite crumpets, but the living room is now painted. I had been putting it off, waiting for the fireplace to be installed so there could be a big WOW moment, a reveal, a sense of satisfaction. I should know by now that literally never happens, everything is incremental, … Continue reading Painting and Decorating: Living Room Edition
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